I wasn't going to write this post.
The subject is, for me, rather embarrassing for a lot of reasons - some of which I won't go into right now. When the topic comes up, I usually ignore it. Or let it roll past me. Or laugh it off.
But it has come up a few times this week.. and today I just can't ignore it.
It is no secret that I'm going bald. It certainly isn't any secret to me - I've known it for over a decade now. Having my father and both my grandfathers bald gave me some pretty solid odds that I would go bald eventually. For a while I wore my hair a bit longer - at least longer for me. But my hair gets a little wavy when it gets even a little long, and I find it uncomfortable, so I usually wear it as short as possible. This is pretty comfortable for me - I had to keep it short for years while I was in the military, and I like how it looks and feels on me. So as this very short hair started to vanish, I paid it little mind.This came to a head (pun not entirely intentional) this week when someone saw a picture of me as I was adjusting a videocamera and commented on how the light reflected off my head. Later that week someone criticized some executives by calling them "balding white men".
I thought people would treat me as I've always treated them - that it wasn't how they looked, but how they acted that was important. I'm not sure why I was so surprised when I realized this wasn't true... even from people who loudly criticized others when they were judged based on superficial outward appearances. I'm not typically insecure about how I look.. but these and other similar comments hurt me more than I expected.It is hard to say that "I don't care" about going bald. For the most part, I never think about it. Yes, it means I have to wear a hat in the winter so I don't lose all my heat, and in the summer so I don't burn. It means I have trouble getting a camera angle that doesn't glint. But I also get to joke about how it isn't a bald spot, its a solar panel for a sex machine. I can reminisce about the old Usenet news group called "alt.sexy.bald.captains.picard.picard.picard". There are plenty of men I know and admire who have similar hair patterns to mine - I like to think we have more stuff inside the skull since we don't have much outside the skull. And even if I did care... there is nothing I can really do about it.
Why do we have such a silly fixation on hair?
Why do we have such silly fixations on such trivial things about people in general?
Some more thoughts another time.
My Dad's hair was gone by the time he was 18, so he collected jokes and stories. Most of which I can't repeat.
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ReplyDeleteI could remind you of something you already know... namely that one of the causes of baldness in men seems to be an abundance of testosterone... but I'm sure that is of no importance to you.
ReplyDeleteDon't give any weight to the "bald" remarks... they are usually uttered when somebody feels the need to assert a perceived but false sense of superiority... something like "Yeah...but... I don't have a decent argument to reply to yours, so I'll mention the hair thing. Maybe that will make you feel bad, so I can feel I won something".
You look fine... you look just as you should look. Every one of us is the result of the way we are built, the way we have lived, and all the stuff that has happened to us. That's all.
What most people don’t know is that aside from the receding hairline and hair loss, there are also phsychological factors here at play.
ReplyDeleteSociety considers a full head of hair as something more attractive and desirable. Research has even shown that employers prefer applicants who have hair from those whose hairlines are receding or is gone entirely. Well this is for general conception. Is hair transplant applicable on your case? like Wayne Rooney did?